“A song that would be the theme song to a TV show about your life”
Dancer in the Dark, composed by Fatman-P and sung by my favorite vocaloid, Megurine Luka.
(subtitled and uploaded by Kisekikui)
I am more optimistic than this song sounds (as my choice for a song I can relate to indicates), but I definitely feel like I’ve been overwhelmed with things that are either beyond my control entirely, or coming in such a barrage that I have to choose my battles and just endure the rest, and feel like I am still being made to suffer for things that, in a just world, would not have consequences that lasted nearly so long. I realize many people have it far worse than me, but then, that’s an even bigger reason to feel the same way. I haven’t forgotten the good or become consumed…but I can’t be sure I wouldn’t have under entirely plausible circumstances.
This song is probably about where I would be if I actually believed that everything in the world is controlled by “God” or “fate”. Since, instead, I accept that some things happen with no intent by anyone, only parts of it are applicable. For example, I know there’s a risk of my emotions either becoming numb overall (or exploding) if I always suppress them at the lowest points in my life, but those points are exactly when I don’t have the energy for the conflict that would come from letting them show.
Fortunately, the more positive interpretation of the song also applies; not giving up on what’s important even if fully succeeding seems so impossible that the obstacles might as well be “God”.